My husband and I spent approximately three and a half years in the process of adopting our daughter from China. As those who have adopted internationally know, there is a tremendous amount of preparation, research, paperwork, etc. that goes into the adoption process and brings a family to the point when they are given the referral (photo and medical report) of the child that has been matched with them.
We got Eliana's referral when she was eight months old. There were two things I noticed about the referral that concerned me. The first was that she looked so distant and sad in the photos we were given (see " Ellye Sitting" and " Ellye Walker" ). The second thing was that her medical report said she was " quiet, shy and liked being in her own world." To me, these indicated that she was probably not getting all of her emotional needs met and was a bit withdrawn from life, most likely due to lack of stimulation. (*Please note, this is NOT the fault of the orphanage; they do the best they can with the limited resources they are provided with.).
It was around this time that I first learned about Q-T and I specifically signed up for the course to use it with our daughter and her attachment. I began distant healing 18 days before we got her (from the night that the workshop covered distant healing), envisioning her attaching to us, happy and secure.
We were told to expect a child that was grieving, and that our child could reject us for up to one week or more. Eliana was placed in my arms at the civil affairs office and immediately fell into a deep sleep; she woke up laughing and giggling for me. She was the largest and healthiest baby in our adoption group. In fact, seven babies came from the same orphanage as Eliana during the week we got her, and four of the babies made trips to the local hospital. The only quantifiable difference between Eliana and the other children was that we had used Q-T and the other families had not.
When we got Eliana she was ten months old and she was developmentally behind (couldn't even hold her head up). Since then, we have continued with Q-T, mostly via distant healing because she is very sensitive to energy. When she had her 12 month check up, Eliana tested at the developmental level of a 15 month old; there are other babies who are catching up, but most were still behind. Eliana is developmentally ahead (according to target skills) and that was after we had only had her for 11 weeks; thank you Q-T!!!
When I took Eliana to her 12 month check up, the doctor asked if she was my biological child. I explained to him, " No, we adopted her from China." Then, at the end of the appointment he asked me how long Eliana had been with us. When I told him 11 weeks, he almost fell over! He said, " I cannot believe that. Looking at her developmentally and how attached she is to you, I would have guessed you adopted her at one week old, not ten months old!"
I had quoted the orphanage report that said Eliana was " quiet, shy and liked being in her own world." Today, Eliana is anything BUT quiet or shy, and she LOVES being with people. She talks all the time, sings, chases anything that has to do with Elmo and adores music. She is completely opposite the original photos and report. I am so glad to see her thriving as much as she is. It just makes my heart glow.
I continue to use Q-T with Eliana on a regular basis. In March, I will have completed the last of the requirements for my instructor certification and it is my hope to run live basic workshops in Los Angeles, Portland and Dallas this summer specifically for adoptive parents or other parents wishing to learn how to use Q-T for attachment purposes.
We are so pleased, and I am so glad I stumbled upon Q-T. I am completely hooked!
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